Paradox is Life in Motion

Very often, particularly when life is chaotic, we crave peace in our lives. We cling to fantasies of a life made of perfect harmony and wonder what is wrong with us that we cannot manage to manifest this perfect harmony in our lives. The problem, I would argue, is not to be found exclusively in us, but in a complex world that is inextricably comprised of both dissonance and harmony. 

Without dissonance, we would have no experience of harmony—we would not know what it is. Dissonance, therefore, is, paradoxically, a necessary component of harmony. We cannot have one without the other—they are two sides of the same coin. 

There is a tension (energy) between the poles forming any paradox that are part of the fabric of life, part of the nature of things. It is my belief that the best way to deal with this tension is not to focus on eradicating either one end of the continuum or the other, but to live in the tension between the two poles, to foster a dialectic between them, to act as a conduit of sorts. 

Harmony informs our experience of dissonance, just as dissonance informs our experience of harmony—that is how paradox works. In dialogue these phenomena transcend narrow conceptions of either end and induct us further into the elegant complexity and mystery of life as unity. The Taoist Yin-Yang is symbolic of this dialectic—two apparently contradictory halves (one dark, one light) in dynamic dialogue forming a transcendent whole.

I think that one lesson paradox has to teach is that of generosity, an expansive and inclusive opening to the unknown inside us, inside others and in the world around us. Because let’s face it, we know far less than we often will admit to. Life is an inherently messy business, sometimes beautiful, sometimes punishing, always challenging. 

I don’t think this needs to be viewed as a ‘bad’ thing necessarily. Very often it’s just life doing its thing. We pointlessly waste our energy taking any of that personally--that is where a lot of the pain comes from in my opinion. 

Learn to navigate the dissonance in life with greater sophistication and skill, cultivate an open heart and intelligent, supple mind, and you will experience a more deeply rooted sense of unity and harmony even in the midst of inherent chaos.

I am far from being an expert on paradox, dissonance or harmony, but my sallying forth regardless is meant to encourage people to become more curious, to provide a jumping off point for others to conduct their own investigations. My explanation is, no doubt, a wee bit simple, but I hope nonetheless useful. 

Remember to be patient in the midst of confusion and resist the urge to immediately gravitate to easy resolutions—paradox wants us to listen to the spectrum of stories that inevitably comprise any given issue. If we do this, then it might be possible to make more informed decisions—ones that have greater substance, value and wisdom.

The Core of Meditation

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” --Albert Einstein

This quote, for me, underlines the core importance of meditation. I am not an expert, nor an authority on the subject, but I have a little experience that has informed me in some basic sense, and so I thought I'd share my thoughts.

Meditation I think of in broad terms. It can take the shape of prayer, of quiet contemplation, of sitting cross-legged on the floor watching your breath, or paying attention while you’re washing the dishes. Meditation involves being fully present and in formal practice usually means placing your focus on one thing such as your breath or a candle flame. Formal practice is useful because when your mind is not accustomed to being present, deliberate training is necessary, just like it is for budding musicians or athletes—that is why it is called practice.

Ultimately I think that meditation needs to be a lifestyle, so that it becomes as natural as breathing. It cultivates heightened awareness, a quality of aliveness, to both the world inside us and all around us. It connects us to ourselves, to the earth and to each other, fostering integration, so that we sense more deeply our being as a part of nature. This is crucial, I think, if we are to act as forces that foster life rather than snuff it out.

Meditation aids in transcending the narrow confines of intellectual rationality and makes available a holistic experience that provides knowledge via being truly awake to life inside and out, and this on a more deeply pervasive, visceral level. When you have this kind of knowledge, no convincing is necessary to do the right thing, you KNOW what you know in your bones, and it is this kind of knowledge that spawns useful, productive, life-enhancing action. 

My favourite book on mediation is by Jon Kabat-Zinn called, Wherever You Go There You Are. He keeps things basic and has a warm, gentle way of communicating that I find edifying and encouraging.

In my simple life I employ simple tools and meditation is one of the most useful and effective ones I know. It isn't easy. I encounter a lot of things I would rather turn away from, but if I stay with it, when I suspend judgment and just watch and experience and breathe, something magical happens—I am transformed in small ways and large. I feel better.

It is difficult to explain, but I would encourage all to take up a regular practice and don’t be discouraged when it isn’t all roses and rainbows—that is part of the point. What often creates problems for us is our tendency to block out the more dissonant aspects of being alive. Consequently, this is what we need to pay attention to and breathe through. We need to be willing to be fully present to ALL that we experience as it is an important source of knowledge. This is how positive transformation is born.

Integrity

Integrity is a quality that I place prime value on in my life. This isn’t to say I haven’t betrayed myself at times, fallen short of my ideals and expectations, but it means that the discovery of these weak points in my character has made me aware of the importance of being clear about who I am and keeping my Self intact.

Daily we are exposed to ideas and beliefs encouraging us to compromise ourselves, to sacrifice our feelings, opinions and perceptions as meaningless or irrelevant compared to the ‘authority’ of what often amounts to social conditioning and the maintenance of questionable cultural norms. This is particularly true in a consumer driven world, where EVERYTHING is up for sale—bodies, clothes and even kidneys! 

It is vital in an environment such as this, to exercise a degree of skepticism, to question what it is we are being sold and what we are losing or gaining in the process. It is also vital to look at the ways in which we may have been ‘prostituting’ ourselves out (if you can't beat them, join them?) in the mistaken belief that our dreams and ideals are meaningless in a world increasingly dominated by the greed of large, powerful corporations. 

Nothing could be further from the truth! The realization of a future upholding the basic right of all human beings access to such necessities as clean drinking water, sanitation and a living wage, all begin with a vision of an improved tomorrow—a dream. This future stands the best chance of succeeding when we are clear about what is of real value in life starting with the basics that so many of us in the West take for granted--freedom and relative stability. 

Dreams of being a ‘rock star’ of one sort or another, pale in comparison to choosing to give a damn about the quality of life that EVERYONE on this planet has a right to. Our narcissistic dreams will not fulfill us spiritually and yet this is the ideal being advertised and sold all over the Western world. We need to turn things around. Spirit and soul must be priorities now.

It is time to come home to our Self, the Self that is interdependent with a whole world of other Selves. 

We need to get in dialogue with our hearts, to FEEL where life happens internally and live that truth. Integrity is vital. Gather back to yourself all those parts that you gave away in the false belief that they didn't matter or weren’t worth preserving. 

Your Self—your inner life—is all you have. It is the source of your vitality and connection to others. If you have lost some of your zip and zing, consider whether you have compromised your integrity in some fashion. If you have then take it back. Choose to live in harmony with your innermost nature, befriend it, treat it like it matters. 

It sounds trite, on one level, to say that love is the way, but choosing to care about the things that truly bring contentment and joy, is the only thing that has brought me true contentment and joy—self respect, kindness toward others, sincerity. 

Search your heart for the truth. Allow yourself to see what you really see (perception), and feel what you really feel (sense). Experience is the source of all true knowledge. Cultivate this awareness and care for your inner life—they matter.

Wabi Sabi

One source of inspiration which supports my efforts toward a simpler life comes from the Japanese aesthetic of Wabi Sabi. These two words thrown together comprise a philosophy which places value on authenticity, humility and reverence for nature. The aesthetic is characterized by the beauty of things irregular, impermanent, intimate, earthy and simple. The origins of Wabi Sabi arise out of Zen Buddhism and one of the main tenants of this philosophy is to get rid of all that is unnecessary, to tread lightly, to learn to be content with 'enough'. 

What I appreciate about this ideal of simplicity is the lack of pretension and the emphasis on intimacy and warmth. The aesthetics of Minimalism proper often feel cold and alienating to me, and, as I see it, life is about engagement, a rich and satisfying connection first with the life inside us--our heart, our mind, our soul--and by extension with the hearts, minds and souls of others. From my perspective this engagement has the best chance of success when one's values gain definition and clarity, and living a life pared down to essentials is probably the most direct route to achieving this--no distractions. 

Living in minimal fashion need not mean saying goodbye to aesthetic warmth, however. Warmth is ultimately the by-product of intimacy, a sincere and heartfelt approach to interacting with the world. Wabi Sabi, from my perspective, is eminently emblematic of this truth. In the words of Leonard Koren, "pare down to the essence, but don't remove the poetry."

The description I have given of Wabi Sabi is, at best, a crude sketch, but if you are interested in learning more Leonard Koren's book Wabi-Sabi for Artists, Designers, Poets & Philosophers is a good place to start. I am endlessly inspired by the elegance of traditional Japanese art and craft, for it encompasses a worldview which encourages one to cultivate an appreciation for subtlety and quiet, unassuming beauty. This is a welcome antidote to the mores of modern existence, which don't always seem to make much room for the poetic.

Minimalist by Nature

 I do not mean to propose that I am immune to the influences of a consumerist culture, but that I am something of a free spirit, that I feel unhappily fettered when I have more than I want or need, and that mental and emotional liberation seem to be intimately connected to a simpler life. This does not make me better or worse than anyone else, it is just something I have taken note of over the years and made a deeper commitment to. 

But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me introduce myself properly. My name is Audrey Meyer. I am Canadian. I am a massage therapist and university graduate. I have a medical history which has played a large role in shaping my values and I am also a mother, though my son is now grown. All these experiences have come with challenges that have provided fodder for growth and given my soul a greater degree of depth than it might otherwise have had. This, in turn, has revealed a somewhat superficial engagement with life to be the root of much of my suffering and discontent, and so I am committed to a style of living which optimizes the potential for liberation.

Life doesn't seem simple or easy at times, but I am slowly coming to see that much of what makes it complicated are my perceptions, my choices and my behaviour. To that end I endeavour to take greater responsibility--displacing blame is all too easy and convenient, but it robs me of an opportunity to learn something new about myself and the world I live in. To connect. I don't want anything getting in the way of that. 

This is why I believe there is a lot to be said for a minimalist life style. It is intimately coupled to my sense of the spiritual and to my desire to be a positive influence for social changes that support a life of depth and connection--a happy life in other words. 

I will leave you now with a question which has the potential to unearth some noteworthy things about your authentic self: What is the core of your nature composed of...when do you feel most intimately and naturally yourself?