Being Known

Being known is a gift. It is a basic, yet profound way, of loving and being loved. And let me be clear here, when I speak of being known I also mean to imply acceptance as well. There is something in the simple experience of being known that is deeply nourishing and life altering. It is an unrivaled form of intimacy.

How do we confer this gift? It seems to me that truly knowing someone else comes about through presence—our openness, our being right there in the moment with them. Sheer presence.

Spaces open up in the mundane, everyday aspects of our lives when we are present this way, listening with no agenda, simply taking life in—letting the moment be without either pushing toward nor re-coiling from what is there to be experienced.

There is something magical about this in my experience, transcendent even.

How do we receive this gift? We receive it with the same openness by which we confer it on others—simply being there awake and aware in the moment. But, as with all simple endeavours this is not necessarily easy to do.

Presence takes practice. It is something we evolve toward with patience and perseverance.

Some get in the zone through swimming or other forms of exercise, others knit or crochet and many take up meditation or keep a journal. There are lots of diverse ways to practice being here now.

Last, but not least, the journey toward presence always begins with an inward focus, the willingness to be present to the life inside us. Yes, we will face many things we’ve been avoiding confrontation with—buried shame, fear, anger, resentment, but if we persevere we also encounter our native joy, peace, faith and contentment as well.

We locate a sense of wholeness—the sense that the only way to be whole is to recognize the beauty in our brokenness and choose to live in solidarity with it. At which point we may further discover that there was never anything fundamentally wrong with us to begin with.

This most basic act of presence is the root of all love. Therefore, the gift of knowing and being known begins and ends with love.

Rock the cosmic rhythms of your heart. Be the presence you were meant to be in the world.

Living Your Way to a Brand-New Ending

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending.”  —Carl Bard

Thank the blessed universe for that! What a relief to know that no matter what mess we might find ourselves in the middle of, we can always start again, alter what needs alteration and be on our way to a brand-new ending.

And, correspondingly, it is often useful when seeking solutions to a particular problem, to begin with the end in mind.

For example: What sort of ending do I want my story to have? Where are my deep desires and sense of values calling me? What ultimate ends would I ideally like to manifest?

When we work backwards from here it often becomes clearer (though not perfectly clear) what initial steps we need to take that will set us on the road to where we want to go.

One caution however—hold the ends you have in mind lightly.

Life is a process of continual flux. Personal growth, like art of any kind, is a work of never ending progress. So, although you may have a particular end acting as motivation for choosing a particular direction, understand that the universe has a mind of its own and that you may well end up in a completely different, but nonetheless wonderful, beautiful and desirable a place than you had in mind to begin with.

Remember, all journeys are essentially an adventure—so relax. Enjoy yourself and when things look dark and full of despair, be good to yourself, seek compassionate company, and don’t forget your sense of humour.

Also, listen closely. There is a lot of important information to be gleaned from one’s dark night of the soul. Be patient. Clarity will dawn. Answers crystallize when we’re ready for them (that is when the universe deems we’re ready).

Remember wherever you are, is a great place to begin. It is all in how you manage it.

Brand-new endings are always possible, when we are aware and choose to embrace them by doing things differently.

Be courageous. Dare to live differently.

Calling All Inspiration/Advice Junkies.

“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol, morphine or idealism.” --C.G. Jung

Many of you, like myself, seek out inspiration and advice from various corners of the web in an effort to be happy, healthy and whole—nothing wrong with wanting to be happy, healthy and whole either. Problem is I think the constant seeking for inspiration and advice can become habit forming, rather than healing.

Which makes me wonder: Is the spiritual advice out there solving problems as we hope, or is it just aiding in the creation of a society of inspiration junkies? Are all the people standing behind various websites there to help, or are there those who are present simply to exploit an opportunity to make money off other people’s vulnerability, not unlike, say, drug dealers?

I have to admit that some of the advice I have come across seems to smack of advice-candy/advice-porn—seductively presented forms of spiritual idealism promising much and delivering very little except, perhaps, the intense craving for another hit. And therein lies the danger.

We sign up for courses to fix ourselves once and for all, to heal, to learn how to love ourselves, to learn how to love others, and while much of this advice sounds good and (at least in theory) seems to hold a certain amount of potential for transforming our lives, I have to wonder to what extent it may also exist as nothing more than a distraction—like the sweet song of the siren’s that swaddled any soul that heard it into a fatal lethargy—preventing us from ever actually taking our difficult spiritual journeys inward.

To what extent might our postmodern, new-age type advice merely be the recycled, re-packaged, up-to-date version of the opiate of the masses?

And another thing, we live in a world where the poor are getting poorer. Does the inspiration industry increasingly exist as one more luxury only the rich can afford?

I don’t have any solid answers to these questions, but as I participate in said industry I believe it is important to ask them and to frisk myself for any spiritual rhetoric I may be spinning that serves no one well.

Life is wondrously messy, chaotic and beautiful—not ideal. We’re meant to experience that, not fix it. 

Only love it as it is. 

Keep it real. Keep it close to heart and soul.