If happiness in life
and love reside in the health of our relationships, then the most fundamental and
important one has to be the relationship we have to ourself. Though often
overlooked, the soundness of every other
relationship we have does rely heavily on the stability of this one—not
something we might think about too often, but fundamentally true.
It is ironic, then,
that living as we do in a society which has a tendency to stress the importance
of the individual over the collective, that so many suffer a tragically low
sense of self worth. The Dalai Lama has reportedly expressed astonishment over
this fact on many occasions when he has given talks in the West and been
presented with this as a persistent problem of many in the crowd. Reversing
this troubling trend begins the moment we
decide we are worth taking the
trouble to get to know and love.
Getting to know and
love ourself requires a journey inward. Too often our energies are directed
outward looking for signs of worth from others. Seeking the approval and
approbation of others is understandable on one level, but not a very good way
to truly get to know ourself and ascertain our worth. Replacing outer
connectedness with inner connectedness is a better way. It’s not about being
superior to anyone else, nor about self-presentation. Getting to know and love
ourself is about authenticity, personal integrity and self-possession—deepening
into more of who we are.
Connectedness to self
is simultaneously a connectedness to Life in general—a collaborative effort and
way of being that is far more genuine, rich, compelling and substantial than
any approval seeking behaviour even has potential to be.
With self worth in
place, beauty, fulfillment and genuine expression in the design and execution
of our life become more intuitive—a natural extension of this love.
What could engender more happiness than that?
And what a gift.
