Our behaviour speaks volumes in a world full of beautiful sounding rhetoric, but even a person's actions are not always so straightforward. Many of us want to appear virtuous, cultivate an image of ourselves in our own minds as compassionate people, but are we really as compassionate as we believe ourselves to be? I have a feeling that in many ways the answer to this question is no.
Actions speak louder than words, yet it is possible to be treated in a 'kind' fashion by someone, and still come away from the experience 'not feeling the love'. True kindness, love, and compassion speaks for itself, it leaves you in no doubt--you know you are loved because you can feel it in your bones, so to speak. However, approximations abound that can confuse the uneducated heart.
Actions speak louder than words, yet it is possible to be treated in a 'kind' fashion by someone, and still come away from the experience 'not feeling the love'. True kindness, love, and compassion speaks for itself, it leaves you in no doubt--you know you are loved because you can feel it in your bones, so to speak. However, approximations abound that can confuse the uneducated heart.
People want to be thought well of, no one wants to be stigmatized as a selfish, unkind, boor, and yet the state of the world would suggest that the lack of empathy that results from extreme self-absorbtion, is, to a significant degree, reigning the day in people's lives. I'm not sure how to account otherwise for the presence of violence in society, the high rates of divorce, nor the persistent presence of homeless people on our streets. I don't mean to suggest here, that we judge others and ourselves and set a plan of reform in motion, but I do think that examining the actual contents of our hearts is in order.
Forcing ourselves to be 'kind' and do the 'right' thing will get us nowhere. I'm also not suggesting that divorce or the presence of homeless people etc., is necessarily an uncontestable sign of the failure to love well enough, but I am suggesting that to the extent that our hearts remain uneducated to the true nature of love, is the extent to which we will manage our affairs with others in a crude, primitive and self-biased fashion.
Forcing ourselves to be 'kind' and do the 'right' thing will get us nowhere. I'm also not suggesting that divorce or the presence of homeless people etc., is necessarily an uncontestable sign of the failure to love well enough, but I am suggesting that to the extent that our hearts remain uneducated to the true nature of love, is the extent to which we will manage our affairs with others in a crude, primitive and self-biased fashion.
There is no more important thing in life, than love. I believe that the way we understand and manage the contents of our minds and hearts has great bearing on our actions, which is why it is so important to take the time to educate them. I am not speaking necessarily of book learning, but more the sort of education that results from honest observation and thoughtful examination of the contents of one's own heart and mind. This is an inside job. It is also a lifetime practice, a work in progress, that evolves slowly and it isn't always easy. Patience is required and persistence also. We need to become good researchers.
I think love evolves and is a natural product of such efforts. A gradual transformation. How, you ask? Again, I can only offer what has been helpful to me. Each of us need to find our own way, different things work for different people. However, here are a few things to consider implementing:
I think love evolves and is a natural product of such efforts. A gradual transformation. How, you ask? Again, I can only offer what has been helpful to me. Each of us need to find our own way, different things work for different people. However, here are a few things to consider implementing:
Solitude. Making space in one's life for solitary practices like meditation, where you do nothing but sit or walk quietly watching the contents of your mind and heart, come and go, is essential. It is only in this space of quiet contemplation that you can be spoken to, that your heart's voice can be clearly heard/felt, and that your mind will have a chance to rest. This is important if we want our minds and hearts to be functioning optimally.
Simple living. To the degree that our lives are over-populated with material and mental distractions, is the degree to which our ability to love will be compromised because there will be no time to feel in depth, or contemplate in depth--to listen and be receptive to what life is trying to convey to us. We will instead be scurrying around trying to keep all the balls in the air. We will miss life, rather than be deeply and meaningfully engaged with it, in a word, intimate with it. And intimacy is a product of love.
Self-care. Self-care is the positive aspect of self-interest. I am speaking here about the importance of being a good care-giver to your body and soul. Eat well, but don't become fanatical about it. Exercise regularly, but don't become preoccupied with obsessions relating to your vanity. Be conscientious about the choices you make, but don't become dogmatic about them. Self-care is all about being good to oneself--honouring and respecting the gift, that is your physical vessel, home of your soul.
I believe we have a tremendous capacity for loving both ourselves and others. I believe the two are inextricably connected and contingent upon one another, and so it is important to make love a priority--not love as a romantic and highly sentimentalized idea, but love as caring in action.
We vote with our behaviour whether we want to or not, what are you voting for?
We vote with our behaviour whether we want to or not, what are you voting for?
