The Wisdom of Our Feelings

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

--Maya Angelou

I think one of the legacies of modernity is the unfortunate, misguided tendency to underrate the central importance of our feelings. Feelings are often written off as romantic sentimental nonsense and yet for all this diminishment they remain the drivers of much of our behaviour.

We like to think we are above and beyond that in the scientific age, we're rational now, we reason our lives into being which, even as I write this, sounds like (forgive me) utter bull shit. 

Truth is I don't think there is a man or woman alive who does not first understand a situation by how it makes them feel. We may then subject said experience to all kinds of rational interpretations in an attempt to grasp its meaning (diminish its meaning?) with our minds, but the feeling experience is always there first and is a source of important information that shouldn't be off handedly dismissed or written off.

I'm not saying that the mind doesn't play an important role as well--feelings are not more important than reason, its just that I think modern societies have a tendency to favour the life of the mind at the expense of the life of the heart. Ideally, there should be some sort of dialogue between them, such that they inform and enlighten each other. It is definitely important to think critically, for example, but with serious consideration of the knowledge that is imparted by our inarticulate senses--our feelings.

At the end of the day I think Maya is right, that how a situation or person makes us feel is what has the upper hand in the end. We decide if a situation is right for us very often by how it makes us feel. We want to feel good, secure, loved and liberated. 

We are willing to sacrifice all kinds of things in order to make room in our lives for good feelings. 

Trouble is people sometimes want to take short-cuts to feeling good that short change them in the long run. The abuse of alcohol and drugs are emblematic of this. We sometimes don't trust our feelings because of the nature of their intensity and the fact that we have been led astray by them in the past--this is why a dialogue between the head and heart is important. 

It takes some courage and intelligence to navigate the deep waters of our emotions, but I think it is worth doing because there is nothing so satisfying as feeling content and happy in oneself, and this can't be drunk from a bottle. When we feel good we radiate this and then others feel good too when they are with us.

And let's be honest. At the end of the day what truly makes us all feel good is loving and being loved--the wisdom of the heart.

It all comes down to Love ... beautiful!