Making Love a Priority

I want to share one of the poems by Hafiz that I have been reading lately, as it gets elegantly to the core of the subject I have chosen for today.

WITH THAT MOON LANGUAGE

Admit something: Everyone you see, you

say to them, “Love me.”

Of course you do not say this out loud;

otherwise someone would call the cops.

Still, though, think about this, this great

pull in us to connect.

Why not become the one who lives with

a full moon in each eye

that is always saying, with that sweet

moon language,

what every other eye in this world is dying

to hear?

What I will say here is not going to be nearly as eloquent and profound as this piece translated by Daniel Ladinsky, but for me, loving well is fundamental to my whole notion of living well, which isn’t to say that I have perfected the art. I haven’t. 

It is just that I have found life far more worth living in direct correlation to the degree that love is present, both in the giving and receiving of it.   

It is just too easy to get caught up in the politics of minor differences, to criticize and condemn other people’s eccentricities and mistakes, while simultaneously rationalizing and justifying our own. It is also easy to be unaware of the degree to which these tendencies are alive, and well, and operating in our lives.

One of my solutions is to try and remember to cut people some slack (to soften my gaze?), which means I need to cut myself a little slack too; for failing, for being flawed and perhaps falling short of my own or other’s expectations. Admittedly this is a somewhat simplistic solution to a complex issue, but I think it is a worthy and relevant place to start.

Another solution is to make love a priority, central, not something relegated to the margins. This may mean prioritizing the cultivation of skills such as; the art of conversation, the art of listening, the art of being present, or, as Hafiz points out, the art of looking at and really seeing people. 

In short, cultivating a life of love may involve shifting away from an ironic mode of living, in favour of living more authentically, deeply and sincerely.

I can’t separate love from life. I believe it is a fundamentally important, though sorely neglected, misunderstood and abused aspect of many people’s lives, both as simple as it is complex, as this poem by Hafiz nicely illustrates.