Emotional Generosity

I know for myself that being emotionally generous can be a challenge. If our trust is violated emotional generosity is simply more difficult. But be generous with each other we must, for if we don’t we will only succeed in starving ourselves and others of the psychological warmth we all crave—love.

Emotional generosity is only possible when we have an open heart. In this state we more readily extend ourselves to others offering supportive words of praise, listening more closely to what is being said, or in general taking a deeper, more sincere and enthusiastic interest in people’s lives and happiness.

Getting in touch with the varied contents of our own heart and mind, then, is of central importance—a form of being emotionally generous with ourselves. 

More deeply understanding our own selves, with all that implies in the way of complexity, contradiction and failure, can only help render us more empathic toward others when they likewise reveal themselves just as complex, contradictory and imperfect. 

Only a heart that is free can be emotionally generous in this way.

One vital ingredient for liberating the heart is the willingness and ability to forgive. Without letting go of past hurts and disappointment there can be no liberation of the heart. 

Which is to say, that to the extent we place value on indulgently cultivating a strong sense of righteous indignation, is the extent to which our hearts harden and calcify.

I have in no way perfected the art of understanding and forgiveness, but as I see it there is no other way to be emotionally generous other than by these means. A work in progress.

In the end I think emotional generosity can be characterized by our willingness and ability to cut ourselves some slack for being human, for making mistakes and falling short of our ideals.

This isn’t to say that we make cheap excuses for bad behaviour, it just means we keep things in perspective. 

Instead of inwardly condemning and shaming ourselves (i.e. being emotionally stingy), we might suspend judgment, step back and take a more thoughtful look at the situation prompting the poor conduct (i.e. be emotionally generous).

In this way we have an opportunity to gain fuller understanding, which then alters the way we perceive things, resulting in improved conduct. We become less reactive and more responsive.

Emotional generosity is always worth striving for. It keeps our hearts fit, our minds less addled and our lives more pleasurable and peaceful.

Expansion of the heart is key. 

Again, be patient, proceed with care and persevere!