The Gritty Side of Truth

“The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.” – David Foster Wallace

I believe this guy is my new philosopher-writer crush! And I love this quote because he acknowledges the deeply rooted truth of the cliché, while at the same time being clear that there is a gritty aspect to it that most of us don’t see coming.

Summoning a simple, genuine interest in being less full of shit than we sometimes are isn’t easy. Facing the truth where our moral and ethical incompetence is concerned, is often unpleasant to the extent we have been living with a bag over our head in the attempt to avoid awareness of it.

And there is no way to live in modern society refusing to play according to compromising game rules,  without experiencing painful repercussions.

For one of the side effects of choosing to live insightfully and truthfully, is that one’s altered behaviour inadvertently and necessarily exposes the moral and ethical incompetence of others, by divinely removing the bags over their heads—something they will probably not find desirable or pleasant either.

I don’t mean to be excessively hard by pointing all this out. It just seems to me that the point here is that we are all prone to more self-deception than we are comfortable admitting to. And there is no way out of this painful situation but through an investment in awareness.

Each of us will need to face ourselves on raw terms (i.e. the truth) if we have any real interest in liberation. We each help influence and shape the communities and societies of which we are a part, so seeking the truth and letting it work on us is important.

I believe that this is, at least in part, what Wallace may be getting at. We need to let truth have its way with us, let it speak to us and make us more aware even if, initially, we find it unpalatable and painful.

It makes us stronger people in the end, people who are a little more intelligent, a little wiser and a little more human.

That, I think, is worth suffering a little pain and humility for.

The Art of Deep Listening

Somehow, up till now, I never equated listening with meditation. But think about it, it truly is the art of listening.

In the most basic sense meditation is an expansive awareness (an intense state of presence) that gives the less audible parts of ourselves a chance to be heard.

I personally have never found listening easy. The whirring of my mind tends to get in the way of being present, preventing me from experiencing the surrender and receptiveness that characterize it.

This is why meditation is so important, key to a life of vitality and connection. Meditation is where we learn how to listen--deeply.

The practice of meditation, as I see it, is a sanctuary for deepening our relationship to ourselves, to the universe and to one another. Meditation practice helps us ground ourselves in being—the reality of our actual lives.

When we meditate, anytime we find we have drifted off into thought, we acknowledge the thinking and return to just being aware and breathing—no judgment, no clinging to thought. Gradually the thinking of the ego subsides and settles, allowing for a more spacious awareness—presence—to bloom.

And what is listening if not the act of being truly awake and present?

I dare not speak of it any more than this as I am merely an amateur, but I encourage you all to do your own research into the art of deep listening to see what makes sense to you.

Jon Kabat-Zinn’s, Wherever You Go There You Are is a classic and a great place to start.

Your Vulnerability is a Treasure

It seems to me that we are all exquisitely vulnerable. How could it be otherwise? Simply to be alive is a risky endeavour for all the natural, and unnatural, threats to our existence.

I believe this is why so many of us are hell bent on control. We believe that control will save us from our vulnerability, but really it won’t. Vulnerability is inherent to human existence.

Worshiping at the altar of control has the unfortunate tendency to calcify our hearts and make us rigid and defensive in relation to life, AND it snuffs out vitality and passion in the process!!

Paradoxically, our real strength lies in vulnerability, in openness—one’s willingness (for example) to really feel what you feel, or to place a little more faith in the universe having your back.

Experiencing our vulnerability renders us more pliable and flexible. It is the source of our compassion and ability to empathize. Qualities which strengthen us internally and grant us the power to withstand the rigors of life more intelligently and effectively.

Conversely, a life of defensive control makes us rigid, fearful and anxious—qualities that eventually rob us of our power and keep us in a state of self-imposed oppression.

Having said all that however, there is a place for being alert and careful—mindful and aware.

Thus, meditation. Anytime I feel confused, anxious or overwhelmed sitting quietly, chilli’n with the Universe always does me a world of good.

We are not here to try and exert control over the earth nor each other. We are here to connect. And there is no connecting with others without experiencing our beautiful, exquisite vulnerability. It is the seed of our reverence and respect.

We are all vulnerable. Treasure it. 

Flow Baby Flow!

The story begins 

riverrun

a near endless flowing of words and thrum

seeming to say; run madly, dance playfully,

flow baby flow

for too soon we return from whence we come

the mysterious thing ending

riverrun.

This is my amateur ode to James Joyce's Finnegan's Wake.  An innovative book that one should really experience for themselves.

It spoke to me of one of life's central characteristics, flow. We can always depend on our lives to keep moving, changing, flowing onward even when we might wish it otherwise.

The Taoists often use water as a metaphor for conveying how best to conduct ourselves. They encourage us to 'flow like water' because to get hung up on things is to risk spiritual stagnation. 

We need to flow with the challenges and around the obstacles that will inevitably present themselves. We need to maintain our sense of humour, inner solidarity and calm, if we want to experience a greater degree of freedom, wellbeing and inner peace.

Life, at the end of the day, is a gamble. We can only play the cards we've been dealt as well as we are able and let the rest go.

Flow baby flow!

Wake-Up Calls - Values Clarification Time

It was during the summer I turned twenty-one that I was diagnosed with a brain tumour. A distressing piece of news which altered my world to the point it ceased to make sense anymore, at least in conventional terms. 

Looking down on the city of Vancouver, I couldn’t understand the hurry. The hustle and bustle suddenly seemed not only incomprehensible, but unjustifiable as well—I started to question what I'd inherited as a value system. 

This experience acted as a huge wake-up call. I was suddenly, intensely aware of my own mortality and it was plain to see that if my time was limited that I better be very clear about what is of true value and importance, because not to be would be a tragic waste of life. 

The awareness spawned a more deliberate effort, a willingness, to examine my value system and do the hard work of looking at it with a more critical eye. 

Turning my gaze inward was difficult to begin with, as I was confronted with both the goodness of my nature as well as the embarrassingly flawed parts of my nature—something I would have instinctively turned away from were it not for the motivation provided by having my life threatened. 

What I have come to understand more fully is that it is dreadfully important to examine our lives if we want the values operating there to be those of our own choosing, working for us rather than against us. 

Too often the values of the society in which we are embedded have their way with us, they play out unconsciously in our lives, making us unhappy in ways we can’t quite put our finger on. 

You have to be your own guru—the answers to your life reside in you ultimately. No one else can do that for you. Take inspiration from books you have read and people you know, but at the end of the day  only make use of that which resonates within you,  refer back to yourself. 

We are each, inescapably, the authour of our own life. 

More sharply articulating your values isn't easy, but it is necessary and enormously rewarding. And there is no better feeling in the world than being clearer about who you are and what you stand for. 

Understand that this is a journey towards greater clarity that starts with small steps, the first of which is an awareness of your discontent and a willingness to be more introspective, to take a closer look. 

For me, understanding more about who I am as a human being helps me to understand others, and understanding others helps to foster intimacy between people that makes real relationship possible, makes peace possible and makes happiness the rule in my life, rather than the exception.

The Certainty That There is No Certainty

The Czech writer Milan Kundera has some interesting insight into the nature of humour that I thought worth repeating:

… [humour] is the divine flash that reveals the world in its moral ambiguity and man in his profound incompetence to judge others; [it is] the intoxicating relativity of human things; the strange pleasure that comes from the certainty that there is no certainty.

My god I LOVE this man!  What I love is his honesty and compassion—he’s intoxicatingly real, if you will. 

We are profoundly incompetent to judge others and yet it seems we feel compelled in this direction despite this truth.

And what a comedy of errors it can deteriorate into! One brand of incompetence finding a variant kind of incompetence incompetent! 

How is it then that we feel so free to make what are often such damning pronouncements?! Really we ought to be humbled.

Thus enter the genius of humour which goes a long way toward soothing frayed nerves and an anxious mind.

So, laugh a little and be willing to face what is arguably the unbearable lightness of being ...

Which is to say, most of it doesn't matter as much as you may need it to, or believe it does.

Think about it.