Respect for Dark Places

I like the idea of our awareness as firelight, because it conveys a certain reverence and respect for dark places, as it transforms them with its warmth and light into sacred spaces.

I bring this up because I believe our cultural obsession with the sunny pursuit of happiness (coming, as it seems to, at the expense of so many other worthy, if challenging, states of being) is potentially misguided and over-rated. 

For one thing, life is simply never going to live up to such a one-dimensional expectation of it—the sun that rises also sets, does it not?

And, I believe this tendency results in the potential abuse of spiritual tools, like meditation, when they are used as a means by which to escape the shadow side of our nature, rather than to delve deeper into it. Getting to know this aspect of ourselves better, making space for it, befriending it in meditation, helps to transmute any toxic potential in the process.

Understand then, that the depression that visits, for example, may have some vital information to share with us, that wave of jealousy may exist as a reminder we are not as mature as we’d previously believed, and the sadness that wells inside, breaking open our hearts, invites renewed vitality and potential for growth.

Tempted, as we might be, it is a grave, grave error to try and avoid or purge ourselves of the dark side of our human nature—we can’t anyway.

Which is why when we heavily market and privilege a too bright, too sunny ideal notion of happiness, what I see revealed on a less obvious level is the rejection of this dark, potentially fertile material without which, I believe, true happiness is impossible.

If we can summon the courage to honour our dark places, to make sacred space for our shadow, to listen to what it might have to teach us about love and life, we might discover an increased ability to manage the dissonance with greater intelligence, heart and skill. 

For there is no light without darkness, nor darkness without light—and it is the firelight of our awareness illuminating the dark inner recesses of the heart, that creates the womb-like atmosphere where transformation of any dark material is practically inevitable. But we have to be willing to go there.

True, happiness is an important quality, but so is respect for any sadness, depression or anger we may experience—they too have their stories to tell and we would be wise to sit with them, to linger and listen closely.

In closing, consider these words from someone far wiser than myself:

“Buddhism [spirituality] isn’t about seeing a world all cleaned up or thinking that the world can be all cleaned up…you’re never going to have a neat, sweet little picture with no messiness, no matter how many rules you make.” –Pema Chodron, Tricycle Magazine, Fall 1993, “No Right, No Wrong”. 

Best, then, learn to relax a little where any insistence on happiness is concerned. 

Gotta love the whole picture.