This will be another brief post. As I mentioned in my last post someone close to me is dying. She is in palliative care as we speak and will probably pass within a couple of days. Emotions are running high and everyone is physically and mentally fatigued by all the effort of holding vigil at her bedside. Maintaining some sense of psychological steadiness in the midst of all this isn't easy.
I take some time for myself in the observatory that is on the palliative care ward. There I sip on a warm, sweet mocha and read poetry. Currently this is the work of Hafiz, an ancient sufi poet...
I still feel as though I'm not quite sure that simply being present is enough. I long to do more. It seems that being is much more demanding than doing for me.
However, I have done what I can when I am with her, which is mostly just to let her know I am present, that I love her and that she is not alone. Somehow this does not seem like enough to me. I still feel the urge to want to make it better, to relieve the heaviness and intensity of it all.
I try to maintain my center in the midst of the chaos, for if I don't then the ability to simply be present is compromised and she deserves the best I can muster at this point.
Again, please remember my vulnerable friend in your thoughts and prayers. Many thanks!
